Entries In English · Random Thoughts And Contemplations

What Happened Today?

Good evening!

Well, this is new. Greeting everyone like this. I’m not sure if I could keep up with doing this, though. anyway, I’ll try to do so. But I surely can’t promise anything about this. It’s kind of tough doing it, to be honest. Especially now that things are a little unsure for me that I can’t think of anything worthy for quite a while now.

Wait! Did that even make any sense at all? I have a feeling that it didn’t. Sorry for that.

What happened today? Nothing much. It was the usual, if you ask me. If there was anything different, I could say that my mother had asked us to create several Christmas decorations out of recycled materials to be put in her office. Well, we’re kind of used to making recycled Christmas decorations, in case you want to know. I mean, we’ve been doing it since I was in grade school. Having my mother asked us to do this brought back the feels I had when she would help me create the same thing before. Though she would be needing the decorations she asked for us to make before the 1st of December, it’s better that we have started creating some of it. At least, on the pattern part. My youngest sister managed to finish the “backbone” of the lantern she was thinking about just today. We’ll proceed with putting designs to it later on.

I’m not much of a visually creative person so most of the time, I only help with the actual constructing/putting the materials together in order to create something. And I can’t also say that I’m creative linguistically or anything related to writing, either. Or perhaps I’m not that confident in what I’m doing at all.

If you would ask me, I think I already lost confidence in myself and in what I do for a long time now. I’m probably just stubborn to fully admit it. Not to mention that I’m also stubborn in doing what I want to do the most even though no one notice it or acknowledge it, most of all.

Now that I’m thinking this, I couldn’t help wondering how that person was. I hope he’s okay, wherever he is. And if he’s still doing his best to fulfill his dreams, then that’s good for him. It’s for the best, right? At least he was aiming for something.

I wonder if I could still reach for that part of my dream even if no one recognizes it. It’s a little hard trying to prove something and despite all the effort exerted and put forth to reach it, I’m still nowhere near it.

It’s kind of depressing, if you ask me.

NP: “When You Believe” by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston

Side note: Now for some reason, I’m thinking that this song was trying to tell me something. Don’t you think so?

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