“If I would live again, it will still be you whom I’m gonna love this true…” ~From the Filipino song “Kung Hindi Ikaw/If It’s Not You” by James Wright
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Sela tried her best not to cry hard at the sight of the unconscious Yamato. But the real issue as to why she was fighting back her tears was the fact that Yamato ended up like that because of her.
He wasn’t just unconscious, he was also seriously injured because he blocked that one powerful attack about to hit her while fighting the Deathgalien. They didn’t expect that, though. They really thought that, now that they defeated Genis, they wouldn’t have to deal with anymore Deathgalien.
But they were wrong. They’ve made a wrong assumption on that part and look where it got them now.
“Sela, you should rest. You also sustained injuries. We’ll be the one to take care of Yamato,” Tusk said, trying his best to convince that shark Zyuman to at least do what they wanted her to do.
Yet as usual, Sela was being stubborn. Even Leo’s convincing (or should we say threat) using his loud voice didn’t faze Sela. She insisted on staying by Yamato’s side until she make sure that he was okay and that he would wake up.
It was the only thing she was doing at the moment–blame herself for letting Yamato suffer like this. She was a warrior, for goodness’ sake! She had been trying to prove all this time to everyone that she was strong and capable of protecting herself. And yet something like this happened because of her.
“I’m really sorry, Yamato…” were the words that Sela kept on saying to the unconscious Yamato. Without thinking, she held his cold right hand.
And that became the catalyst. The tears she’d been trying to prevent from falling started streaking down her cheeks one by one. They fell down so fast, she didn’t bother trying to dry them off.
It went on like that until night time. Though the others were glad that the Deathgalien they were fighting before who did this to Yamato didn’t cause another trouble in town, they couldn’t let their guard down for now. Especially when Sela still hadn’t calm down and Yamato was still unconscious.
Sela didn’t realize that she slept on the edge of Yamato’s bed still holding his hand and with dried tears that trickled down her cheeks. When she looked outside, she could see the full moon shining. Though it was a beautiful sight, it also gave off a melancholic vibe–the same thing she was feeling at the moment because of Yamato’s situation.
When she looked at him, he was still sleeping. Though it looked like he wasn’t feeling any pain basing it on his peaceful expression, Sela could also tell from the wounds he sustained that he was trying to hold on. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. She remained closing her eyes like that for a few moments before opening them again.
After that, she decided to look around Yamato’s room for a while. It’s been a while since she’d been here. But as she did so, something caught her eyes that made her frown. It was a notebook that she’d never seen in there before. But then, of course, she would never see this. She hadn’t been here in a while.
She approached the table where it was placed and took it. She wasn’t supposed to open it but there was something telling her that she should. She took a cautious glance to the sleeping Yamato, making sure that he wasn’t awake yet if she were to discover whatever that notebook contained. After a few moments of motionless activity, she sighed and decided to open it.
But she could only gape at the sight that greeted her.
They were more than just journal writings. There were also pictures – of her! She faced Yamato with widened eyes. Was she seeing this for real? Why would Yamato keep something like this?
She continued looking at the content of each page one by one. Her heartbeat increased its pace as she opened each page, seeing not just notes about her that Yamato wrote in his handwriting but also the pictures that she didn’t know he took. How come she was unaware of this?
Before she knew it, she reached the last page. It was dated the other day. There was also another stolen picture of her as she was playing by the beach. She smiled sadly at the note she read beside it.
“Though you were smiling as you play with the water, for some reason, seeing you like that by the sunset reminds me that it won’t last long,” Sela read as quietly as she could.
She touched the picture before running her finger on Yamato’s handwriting. And then she noticed another note written below the first. But they were written in a smaller version and it was tilted slightly.
“I just want to stay with you like this… over and over again…” she read the note in a whisper.
Sela’s tears began to fall once more. And she didn’t notice that some of her tears dropped on the notebook, on the last note placed on that page.
Her eyes widened when she felt someone embraced her gently from behind. She would’ve turned around to see who it was but the embrace tightened. The sound of that person’s breath was familiar, even his heartbeat.
“Yamato… You’re okay?” She could only utter because of so many emotions that she was trying her best to contain.
“Let’s stay like this for now. Don’t think of anything else,” Yamato, now finally awake, had only whispered and tightened his embrace on Sela.
As he wanted it, Sela remained silent and closed her eyes. He was right.
She would worry about him later. She would ask questions later.
For now, she would stay like that with Yamato before she would think of what to do next.
But as it was happening, there was one thing that Sela managed to think of. She won’t do this kind of things with anyone at all other than with him. Even if the world would change in more ways than one, she realized that only Yamato could make her feel all these emotions she had never experienced before.
And whatever happens from then on, she only wanted him to make her experience all these all over again.