Anything #RomanceClass · Entries In English · Random Thoughts And Contemplations

Comfort Food & Heartbreaks

My gosh! Why does this question has to talk about food? Haha! Just kidding. I love food, but not that much. This is probably one of the reason why I’m still thin. Not petite. Definitely thin. Anyway, so this is the topic of the giveaway by #romanceclass trash (though forgive me since I can’t remember the week when they decided to have this book giveaway).

Comfort food.

As for me, I don’t really have that much of a comfort food even when I’m totally sad or during times when I’m completely lifeless. If you know what I mean. In fact, when I failed my NC2 when I was in 2nd year college, I don’t remember eating anything. Or I think I remember gulping a lot of coffee and focused myself on writing my manuscript. So yeah, I think coffee is one of my comfort foods.

This was the question posted on #romanceclass trash’s Twitter account that time for the giveaway:

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Image source: https://twitter.com/rmncclsstrash/status/868825069815865344

And this is how I answered it in Twitter:

I was in first year high school when I had my first heartbreak. This is equivalent to 7th grade if you’ll follow the K-12 educational system here in the Philippines or first year middle school to the other countries , to those who doesn’t know. I was young and really naïve back then. So that kind of heartbreak, despite being called a puppy love or teenage love by most of the adults, was really a shocking event for me. My mistake after that, I thought to myself as a wallflower with no one to look or even give me a second glance. A plain Jane, to be more specific.

But that’s besides the point.

I think I bought Rebisco after my love letter was torn in front of me just to compensate myself that I did my best. But I clearly remember feeling my heart hurting beyond compare (at least at the time) even while eating. Why was that? I had a lot of questions that time. But I guess I could call it fortunate that I don’t remember those questions I asked to myself anymore.

My world didn’t end because of that. I don’t want to end it with just that. It’s an experience for me. Even though I have to admit, that rejection was something that I brought with me until now. In addition to self-loathing that I’m not pretty enough, not “girlfriend-material” enough, not “displayable” enough (wait, was there a word like that?), that first rejection became one of the reasons why I was afraid to risk it, to risk my heart.

But if I risk it, if I take that chance to love, and probably in the end, it won’t be enough to let it last long, what comfort food will I have to erase the possible pain and sadness that it will bring to me?

I guess I’ll just find out when it happened, right?

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