Honestly speaking, I don’t know how to start expressing my thoughts, anything that has something to do with my father. It’s been a really long time since then for me. I don’t have many memories about my father, with exceptions to class recognitions and graduations that he attended and went to with me and my sisters.
So, here. This is just one of the few photos I had that has me and my father in it. My graduation day. Months after that, things really started to get rough for all of us. Before I knew it, my parents separated. Maybe not official and legal yet, but you get the picture. Endless fights and resentments of things that had happened in the past and supposed to have been forgotten and just let it go made it all worst. Both of my parents are prideful people. No questions asked, that’s the truth. Even as days passed, I could really see that.
Even so, I’m still glad that I have a father like him who respected and (over)protected his four daughters so much. Whenever I see and read news about fathers murdering, molesting, or even raping their own daughters, this thought continues to run in my mind. That I’m glad my father isn’t like that. We might have disagreements (lots of them, I might add). But at the end of the day, my respect for him is still there.
I’ve given him (and even more to my mom) many disappointments. I guess, until now, I’m still giving him that. But if you’re going to ask me, I’m not going to trade my father for anything else. I might not be (quite) devoted to him as I was to my mom. But he’s still my one and only father. Sorry will never be enough to compensate for all the bad things we did and said to each other. But I love him. I hope that, even though I don’t say it often, it will still reach him.
I love you, Papa! And Happy Fathers’ Day, as well!