Entries In English · Random Thoughts And Contemplations · Thoughts During Ocassions

My Thoughts This Mothers’ Day

I don’t usually post  this sort of entry here on my blog. I mean, I’m not really vocal–both in the real world and even in social networks–when it comes to ocassions like this. But this is my mother that I’m talking about. So that means I should make an exception every now and then, right?

It’s Mothers’ Day today. But I’m just writing this now (8:01 pm) because I focused on writing other things first. Sorry for that, ‘Ma. You know how my mind tends to float away very far when I started writing.

So to start, I know I’ve been a bigger failure and disappointment to you than any of my sisters. Especially now that I’m turning 26 and still unsure of what I really want to do with my life. Wilting away won’t help me, either. I can already see what will happen to you if I truly decide to just disappear.

But still, I really want to thank you. I don’t know if I can truly measure your patience for my incompetence, for my lack of initiative. I’m still having a hard time thinking of what to do with this life I have. I don’t want to waste it but I can’t seem to find the drive to do anything worthwhile. Though I’m slowly pursuing my dream right now, I know it’s mot helping you at all. I want to stop doing it, to stop pursuing my dream as a writer. But both my mind and my heart screams not to do that. From the way they disagree, it seems that I’ll truly wilt away if I choose to turn my back on the one dream I’m trying currently trying to grab right now.

I love you, Mama, and even God knows that. I’m sorry for continuing to disappoint you. I can’t promise to do my best to change my life. Because honestly, I’m not even sure if I can. Let’s see what happens next, I guess.

Even so, I won’t trade you for anything else. For me, you’re the best mother I could ever ask for. Thank you for everything.

Happy Mothers’ Day!


2 thoughts on “My Thoughts This Mothers’ Day

  1. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is fantastic blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.


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