Random Thoughts And Contemplations

Just A Realization…

Last day of the month na! Last day for the first half of the year na rin. Ang bilis, `no? Parang kailan lang. Pero ang progress ng buhay, heto. Nganga pa rin. I still remained as a girl who daydreams a lot. That is, if you still consider someone who’s about to turn 25 in two months’ time as a girl. Pero siguro nga, girl pa rin akong maituturing kung ganitong isip-bata pa rin ako in more ways than one.

But two nights ago, I realized something. Hindi pala ako magaling na mediator pagdating sa mga away, `no? Actually, matagal ko nang napupuna iyon. Pero ngayon ko lang talaga na-realize nang husto iyon. Nagkaroon lang naman kasi ng kaunting “sitwasyon” dito sa bahay namin that night kaya ko nasabi iyon. Thankfully, naresolbahan naman kahit papaano. Wala nga lang akong masyadong nagawa kahit ako pa ang naturingang panganay. And I guess I’ll never be a good mediator at all. Hanggang sa imagination ko na lang mag-e-exist ang ako na magaling mag-ayos ng gulo ng ibang tao.

Effect ba ito ng pagiging introvert ko ever since? Hindi ko masasabi. Even though I’ll be turning 25, I still feel that I don’t know myself that well. I’m not even sure of what to do with myself anymore. I keep wishing for progress pero ako itong walang nagawa. Feeling ko nga, huli na ang lahat para sa akin, eh.

Ewan ko lang kung tama ba `tong nararamdaman ko. Basta, ganoon na iyon. Mahirap nang ipaliwanag.

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