It’s the 8th of November and the second Sunday here at our newly-rented house. Wow! May isang linggo na rin pala. Nakakaloka lang. Nag-uumpisa na naman ang pag-iisip ko ng mga negative thoughts dahil sa mga nangyari this past week. But I’ll try to remove them from my mind as soon as possible. It’s not good for me to do that–at all! November na pala. Ilang araw na lang bago mag-Christmas. Kunsabagay, malamig na sa paligid, eh. At kapag nasa Baguio ka, normal na lang masakit sa balat na tirik ng araw during daytime habang makapamaluktot na lamig ng hangin at temperatura naman pagsapit ng gabi. Naku, dobleng kacket pa more ang katapat nito! Dagdagan mo pa ng makapal na pajama/pants at medyas.
It’s quiet around me as I write this kaya heto, tuloy-tuloy ang pagsusulputan ng kung anu-anong isipin sa utak ko. I can’t even do anything to stop it.
But let’s get on to the “real issue”, shall we?
So this Sunday, I’m currently:
Prince of Tennis fanfictions at FanFiction.net. Im particularly searching and reading fanfics of this fandom tat has Sanada/OC pair in it.
The Sunday Currently Vol. 2 and “The Death Stalker” chapter of “The Last Sky Of The Earth”.
Playlist of some songs from Prince of Tennis anime, particularly “Mirai No Bokura E” which is the opening song of New Prince of Tennis anime.
Of how to finally have the guts to set out to the “outside” world and find a job so that I won’t feel such a burden to my family. That thought has been going on in my head for the past week, to be honest. And then there’s my worry on how I’d be able to finish Guia’s Lotus now that our desktop’s OS crashed. Seriously, this couldn’t get any worst.
The scent of shampoo on my hair. Bagong paligo po kasi ako, that’s why.
To finally have my manuscript’s SOR which has been delayed for more than a month now since I don’t want to put all my writing efforts into nothing because of too many pressures and disappointments coming with this.
For my currently evaluated manuscript to be approved with no revisions whatsoever. Dagdag-pampagana din iyon sa pagsusulat ko.
A spaghetti-strapped blouse underneath a knitted sweater and partnered with brown pants. At least hindi na ako mukhang saging na kulay yellow ang suot unlike last week. Mamaya pa ako magsusuot ng medyas.
The fact that we have Wi-Fi in the house. In-upgrade na kasi `yong WiMax namin to LTE. Woohoo!
To finish the three chapters of Guia’s Lotus before this week ends. My gosh! I have to finish that for me to be able to proceed to the other waiting manuscripts on the computer and on my (physical) files.
To gather some backbone to find a job. Mahirap na kasing patuloy ka nilang sinusumbatan kasi “palamunin” ka lang nila. Harsh, but that’s the truth.
Mentally exhausted from all the thinking. Ito rin siguro ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ko pa rin magawang ituloy ang pending MS ko. Waahhh! Hindi puwedeng ganito!
Various Sanada/OC fanfics to read at FanFiction.net. Weird for me to gain interest in reading Prince of Tennis fanfictions once again. But if doing this relieves me from my recent stress, then it’s fine by me.
I don’t know what will happen in this coming week starting tomorrow. Magagawa ko na bang labanan ang takot ko at finally ay putulin na rin ang pagiging ermitanyo ko? Or will I remain a scared and weak-willed being who doesn’t know what to do with my life anymore?
Maybe I’ll find a way. Maybe I won’t.
For whatever’s worth, I have to get this over with and done.