Entries In English · Saturday Night Thoughts

Saturday Night Thoughts #3

I can’t believe I’d be able to write another Saturday Night Thoughts since right now, as I write this, I’m beat. Dead tired, if you want another description. But to inform you who were reading this post, this is actually the very first entry I’m writing here in a new room. That’s right, we’ve just more to our new house (though we’re still renting since we can’t afford to buy one). I have lots of hopes now that we’ve finally relocated. Thankfully, the atmosphere inside the house isn’t that heavy or depressing.

But even though I said that the atmosphere is quite good, I’m actually worried about my approved manuscript’s SOR (Sales Of Rights). It’s been more than a month since my manuscript was approved and yet it hasn’t arrived yet. It’s frustrating me, in case you don’t know. And to think I need it the most right now. Well, at least the cheque that goes with it. But I’ll do my best to be patient. I’ll breath in and out to calm myself in order to think positive about it. I’ll try, but it won’t guarantee me a big amount of help.

Okay, here we go again with the pessimism. I hate this.

It’s October 31 today—err… I mean tonight. Thank goodness, I’ve managed to watch another episode of Kalyeserye a while back despite being busy because of the relocation. I really thought I won’t be able to watch it since we were going to get busy. But no! I found a way somehow and I’m glad. Watching it really relieved me of my stress and my fatigue even just for a few hours. I won’t elaborate this any longer for now since I’m starting to feel sleepy again. No thanks to the OPM songs I’m currently listening from my playlist. But that’s okay.

It’s October 31 and it’s Halloween. And yet I don’t feel the hype of the said occasion. Maybe apathetic or placid? Nonchalant? I’m not sure. But you know, I wonder how it feels to participate in a Halloween party and such. To tell you the truth, I’ve never experienced it. And this is because of my decision to remain a “hermit” of my own house. Come to think of it, I’ve never been to any costume party at all. Talk about living a completely boring life but that’s my choice. True, I do have a few “what if” thoughts coming every now and then but I’ve never regretted my choice to isolate myself to the world for a long time—to remain an introvert. To remain in silence. I don’t need to pretend to be someone I know I will never be. That’s because I can already see that even though I try hard to be an outgoing person, people will only see it as something that is done by force. Just a manner of forced interaction to be able to get recognized. I don’t want that. I want them to see the real me and accept me as I am.

Though lately, I’ve been imagining myself actually doing acting scenes. A rom-com, to be specific. And yet I could only do whispered acting—that means I only recite and act out lines while whispering. Yeah, right. As if it would actually help me in some ways.

Okay, forget about my antics in acting even though it’s somewhat a buried childhood dream of mine. I’ll deal with that some other time when my whole body isn’t acting this much.

Until the next post on my Saturday Night Thoughts!

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